Every once in a while, I run into someone who is bound and determined to save my soul - regardless of my position on the matter.

Now, I'm all for gettin' saved. Fact is, I spend a good bit of time on it myself. I belong to and support a large, bureaucratic organization, the Roman Catholic Church, and more specifically, the Catholic Diocese of Biloxi, the sole (little religious pun, there) purpose of which is to help me and other people do that. I occasionally also enlist the help of my friends and associates. Some of them are not Catholics. Some of them aren't Christians. Hell (a little religious reference, there), some of them aren't even alive! Catholics call these people the "Communion of Saints," even if some of them haven't graduated yet! I welcome the spiritual help of anyone, anywhere, without regard to age, race, creed, color, gender, handicap, disability, national origin, sexual orientation, mortality situation, veteran status, reserve armed forces participation, or previous condition of servitude. I am what might be called an equal opportunity salvation seeker.

Some of these folks make house calls - Seventh Day Adventists, Mormons, Christian Scientists. Lately, some good looking lady Jehoveh's Witnesses have been showing up in my neighborhood looking sharp in black and white outfits. I wonder if they know that I'm straight, single and available and, having gone to Catholic school for sixteen years, tend to be favorably disposed to religious discussions with women dressed as penguins.

I deeply appreciate the effort, intent, motivation and dedication of these praiseworthy people. It takes someone special to allocate from the little leisure time we have nowadays to go around trying to spread the Word of God to often hostile strangers. With me, they usually introduce themselves by inviting me to discuss the world situation or the future or suchlike, but I think they're mostly wasting their time. My input isn't likely to have much of an effect - their minds are already made up!

At the other end of the spectrum are the jihadis; you know, the loudmouth bigots with the banners and the bullhorns. In other countries they often claim to be Muslims. They carry signs that say things like "Your Streets Will Run with Blood" and "Death to Israel." In this country, they're mostly Westboro Baptists. "God Hates Fags." "Thank God for IEDs" - that sort of thing.

Somewhere between the two extremes are those who are all going to be saved because they have The Truth, as opposed to the rest of us, the vast majority, who are all going to hell. What The Truth is seems to vary from person to person, but, as I understand it, it generally involves Taking Jesus As Your Savior and opposing the teaching of Charles Darwin's theory of evolution in public school.

The ones on the tail ends of the bell curve recognize that they aren't going to win anyone over without lots of convincing arguments, quotations from Scripture, and plain, old-fashioned missionary work. The ones with The Truth appear to assume that, once they let me in on it, I'll immediately enlist in their army of Christian soldiers and Pass It On To Everybody I Know!

Maybe not!

Hardly a day goes by that somebody doesn't cast a verbal stone or two at me for doing, believing, not doing or not believing something. Like I got this old without ever having a clue! One guy sends me "proof" that The Bible Is Right After All and scientists are all a bunch of hell-bound heathens. Another asserts that bank failures and lost jobs and Hurricane Katrina are how God is punishing everybody for not forcing kids to pray in school. A third guy sends me a slideshow of pictures of Jesus accompanied by some multimillionaire country singer whining that he's all poor because the government done sent his job overseas. A lot of them blame Mohammed or the Supreme Court for stuff.

Ye gods! (Another bit of religious phraseology, there)

As a Catholic, I believe that God is no respector of persons, for anyone who fears Him and acts uprightly is acceptable to Him (Acts 10:34-35), and that faith without good works is dead (James 2:20-26). I maintain that true Christians love everyone (John 13:34-35), especially their enemies (Matthew 5:44, Luke 6:27), and someone who doesn't do that, especially one who encourages others not to, has no business calling himself a Christian (I John 2:4). Catholics do not find anyplace that Jesus said one must take him as their savior, or that doing that is either necessary or sufficient for any particular purpose. I invite anyone to show me if he can!

Like other Christians, Jews and Muslims, Catholics are encouraged to study Scripture, in our case, the Holy Bible. Unlike most other Christians, Catholics are encouraged to investigate the whole thing, not just the bits and pieces that support what we would like to believe. Interpreting the Bible is what the Church does, because Scripture is not a matter for private interpretation (II Peter 1:20-2:3). If we want to know what the Bible says, we can look it up. If we want to know what the Bible means, we have the Church to tell us. People who reject the Catholic Church have to make do with other resources. May God be with them.

Our Muslim brothers and sisters are in the same boat as other non-Catholics. They have to interpret their Scripture for themselves. If we want to know what they think, we can study it, too. We can better love them and more fully help them save their souls if we know something about how they're trying to do that. What would Jesus do?

Protestants study Scripture because that's where they get their theology, from the Word of God, just like Jews and Muslims. Catholics do that, too, but we have the Church to help us. We've been doing it for over 1600 years, and we think we've gotten pretty good at it. We use helpful tools, such as history, archeology, anthropology, and all the other sciences, not to mention philosophy, psychology and epistemology. (Look it up!) The Catechism of the Catholic Church is to the Bible what the Eyewitness Travel Guide to New York is to the New York telephone directory. It's hard to understand New York if your only source of information is the telephone book. That's why Bible study groupies are often like the Six Blind Men of Hindustan - each is partly in the right, and all of them are wrong!.

Catholics do not believe Salvation is an event, we claim that it is a process, worked out with fear and trembling throughout one's entire life (Philippians 2:12). What would life be for, otherwise? It requires being born again as a completely different, superhuman being, because people, even babies, are simply not capable of knowing God as He is (I John 3:2). We see the sacrament of baptism as a kind of silver bullet for the devil, that gets you started in the right direction, and does the job for you if you can't participate for some reason (like being an infant, for example). But there are other kinds of baptism, and we have always regarded the Holy Innocents as saints, even though they never received the sacrament "of water and the spirit". They didn't Take Jesus As Their Savior, either. Neither did Noah. Neither did Abraham. Neither did Moses, and he murdered somebody (Exodus 2:12)! What we are now is Children of God. What we shall be has not yet been revealed (I John 3:2).

In my (Catholic) view, we are a scattering of the "salt of the earth (Matthew 5:13)," from the salt shaker in the middle, which is God. Those south of God are going north to find Him, the ones to the north are headed south. The ones on the east are not going either way, and the ones on the west are going the opposite even of that. (Don't get me started about those south-southeast by east!) Nevertheless, each is traveling toward the God he knows. Sometimes we go the same way, sometimes the opposite, but we're all headed toward the same place. It behooves us all to help each other, and not spend time in useless argument about which way we all should go.

I will gladly discuss my views with anyone who wants to hear or read them, which is why they're here. I don't require other people to believe what I do, but I ask the same consideration from them. That's what the First Amendment is all about - it's the law here. I have Jewish and Protestant and Muslim and Buddhist (and other) friends who are better people than I am. Sometimes we discuss things; sometimes not. They are an inspiration to me, because they love one another (John 13:34; 15:12, 17, Romans 13:8, I Thessalonians 4:9, I Peter 1:22, I John 3:11, 23; 4:7, 11-12; II John 5) and do righteous things (I John 3:7).

The Bible says that God will reward them (Matthew 5:12; 6:4, 6, 18; 41, 42; 16:27, Mark 9:41, Luke 6:23, 35, I Corinthians 3:8, 14, Revelation 22:12). Anyone who doesn't believe that just doesn't believe the Bible. If not believing the Bible is somebody's thing, its OK with me; he's probably in the majority anyway. But I'm not one of them, I never will be, and anyone who tries to convert me otherwise is wasting his time - and mine!

I don't have that much left!

John Lindorfer

Protestant Evangelist: "Have you found Jesus?"
Me: "Heavens! I didn't know he was missing!"
Protestant Evangelist: "No, I mean, have you been saved?"
Me: "Yup."
Protestant Evangelist: "Are you sure?"
Me: "Yeah. I've even got a certificate from my church."
Protestant Evangelist: "Then you've taken Christ as your savior?"
Me: "Yeah, but that came later."
Protestant Evangelist: "Don't be silly. That can't come later!"
Me: "Why not?"
Protestant Evangelist: "Because you get saved by taking Christ as your savior!"
Me: "Not me. I got saved the way Jesus said."
Protestant Evangelist: "What's that?"
Me: "By being born again of water and the Spirit. John 3:5."
Protestant Evangelist: "Oh, that's just to show that you've taken Christ as your savior."
Me: "Not for me, I didn't even know about Christ at the time."
Protestant Evangelist: "That's ridiculous! How can you be saved if you don't know Christ?"
Me: "By being born again of water and the Spirit. You weren't listening."
Protestant Evangelist: "But you have to take Christ as your savior!"
Me: "Catholics don't believe that. We don't think anybody can save himself."
Protestant Evangelist: "Well, we don't believe that, either."
Me: "But you just said that you have to take Christ as your savior."
Protestant Evangelist: "Right!"
Me: "What about Jews and Muslims? They don't take Christ as their savior!"
Protestant Evangelist: "They're all going to hell!"
Me: "Just because they don't take Christ as their savior? That doesn't seem very fair!"
Protestant Evangelist: "It's what Jesus said! He is the way the truth and the life!"
Me: "So everyone who takes Christ as his savior is saved?"
Protestant Evangelist: "Right!"
Me: "And everyone who doesn't take Christ as his savior is going to hell?"
Protestant Evangelist: "Right!"
Me: "So it's what the person does that gets him saved?"
Protestant Evangelist: "Right! He has to take Christ as his savior!"
Me: "Sounds to me like he's saving himself by taking Christ as his savior!"
Protestant Evangelist: "No, no no! He's saved through the merits of Jesus Christ!"
Me: "But he has to do something?"
Protestant Evangelist: "Right!"
Me: "And if he doesn't do that, he doesn't get saved?"
Protestant Evangelist: "Right!"
Me: "Sounds like he's saving himself to me. Do this; get saved. Don't do it, don't get saved!"
Protestant Evangelist: "No, you don't understand. Salvation is a free gift of God."
Me: "Doesn't sound so free to me if you have to do something for it."
Protestant Evangelist: "You don't have to do anything for it."
Me: "But you just said you have to do something for it."
Protestant Evangelist: "What?"
Me: "You just said you have to do something for it."
Protestant Evangelist: "No, I mean what did I say you had to do for it?"
Me: "Take Christ as your savior."
Protestant Evangelist: "Yeah, you have to do that."
Me: "That's doing something."
Protestant Evangelist: "You just don't understand."
Me: "Then explain it to me. Do you have to do something, or don't you?"
Protestant Evangelist: "You have to take Christ as your savior."
Me: "Like I said, that's doing something. You're claiming you can save yourself."
Protestant Evangelist: "No, you don't understand, all you have to do is...."
Me (interrupting): We claim you don't have to do anything to be saved."
Protestant Evangelist: "Oh yeah? Then how do you get saved?"
Me: "Through the merits of Jesus Christ."
Protestant Evangelist: "But you've got to do something!"
Me: "Nope! I didn't. I was asleep the whole time. That's why we claim it's free."
Protestant Evangelist: "So you don't have to do anything to get saved?"
Me: "Right!"
Protestant Evangelist: "So you can be a murderer or a child....."
Me (interrupting again): Nope. We believe those things get you unsaved."
Protestant Evangelist: "Then you're not saved!"
Me: "Well, I believe I have been saved, so I don't intend to do anything to get unsaved. That wouldn't be very smart."
Protestant Evangelist: "So you say you can be saved without doing anything, but you can do things to get you unsaved?"
Me: "Yeah. That's why be baptize babies and send them to Catholic school."
Protestant Evangelist: "Why?"
Me: "So they get saved by baptism, and then learn what not to do to get unsaved."
Protestant Evangelist: "What about Jews?"
Me: "They follow their conscience. Their religion came straight from God, after all!"
Protestant Evangelist: "Ha! What about Muslims, or Hindus, or Buddhists?"
Me: "Same thing. We call it "baptism of desire." Jesus wants to save everybody"
Protestant Evangelist: "But they don't take him as their savior!"
Me: "They don't have to. We claim he is their savior, whether they take him or not."
Protestant Evangelist: "Ha! Where does it say that?"
Me: "John 14:6. Jesus said to him, "I am the way and the truth and the life." He didn't say anybody had to know that for it to be true.
Protestant Evangelist: "But you have to take him as your savior!"
Me: "Where does it say that?"
Protestant Evangelist: "In the Bible!"
Me: "Show me!"
Protestant Evangelist: "You Catholics worship the Pope!"