The Very Model Retired Intellectual

I am the very model of a retired intellectual,
I much prefer environments free of things interjectual.
I don't like conflict, competition and someone's hostility
Because in showing emotion I don't have much ability.

I look for reassurance of involvement and my worthiness.
But very supportive of other people and their nervyness
I'm very good at helping other citizens to reach their goals.
And in some confrontations I am the one to apply controls.

Chorus:

And in some confrontations he is the one to apply controls.
And in some confrontations he is the one to apply controls
And in some confrontations he is the one who must apply the controls!
I tend to be loyal to others and want to be recognized,
But really don't like being flattered or shallowly patronized.
In short, in showing staying power and being respectual,
I am the very model of a retired intellectual.

Chorus:

In short, in showing staying power and being respectual,
He is the very model of a retired intellectual.
I am a dependable and caring partner and often clerk
At making sure that other folks are happy in their daily work.
I have a basic need to be supportive of my fellow man,
And will sometimes agree with him even though I don't think I can.

I like others to work with me to achieve satisfactory
Relationships where everyone has stable interactory.
Respectful of the needs and wants of other people much more bold,
They may think that I am too undemonstrative and self-controlled.

Chorus:

They may think that he is too undemonstrative and self-controlled.
They may think that he is too undemonstrative and self-controlled
They may think that he is too undemonstrative and much too self-controlled!
Not wanting to be the center of attention I help support
Whoever the group leader is and give a measure of comfort
So when events might otherwise be somewhat disrespectual
I always am the model of a retired intellectual.

Chorus:

So when events might otherwise be somewhat disrespectual
He always is the model of a retired intellectual.
I like to be appreciated for my arbitrationship.
I'm generally good at cooling down a tense relationship.
I'm excellent at listening to the concerns of other folks.
And giving positive and even sometimes affectionate strokes.

I may become possessive by developing strong friendliness
But not to levels which to most might constitute offendiness
I prefer language and a tone of voice that shows sincerity.
Because I find in most relationships it's such a rarity.

Chorus:

Because he finds in most relationships it's such a rarity.
Because he finds in most relationships it's such a rarity.
Because he finds in most relationships it's very much a rarity!
I don't like changes or surprises where I'm often forced to show
A tolerance for situations other than the status quo.
In preference for keeping things unchanged and introspectual,
I am the very model of a retired intellectual.

Chorus:

In preference for keeping things unchanged and introspectual,
He is the very model of a retired intellectual.
Because I hold straight dealing and trust in others in prominence
Con artists can oftentimes take advantage of my confidence
Perhaps I could derive a benefit from more assertiveness,
But I think mistrusting everyone a kind of pervertiveness.

I'm willing to accept as the price of a friendly world view
Occasionally being cheated by someone I thought I knew,
But anyone who does that has forever lost my trust in him,
And I will always think of "traitor" as his proper pseudonym!

Chorus:

And he will always think of "traitor" as his proper pseudonym.
And he will always think of "traitor" as his proper pseudonym.
And he will always think of "traitor" as that traitor's proper pseudonym!
I tend to be traditional and stable and predictable.
I dislike sudden decisions or things that are conflictable
My friends can always count on me to do things circumspectual,
Because I am the model of a retired intellectual.

Chorus:

His friends can always count on him to do things circumspectual,
Because he is the model of a retired intellectual.
I am a good friend and try hard to help my strug'ling buddies out.
Somewhat uncomfortable when my friends and loved ones aren't about
All those who know me well will say I am sincere in what I do,
And thus expect sincerity from all those whom I give it to.

If someone feels the need to talk, then I will listen patiently,
But I expect the same consideration to be shown to me.
Because I listen well most people think I like to lend a hand,
But I prefer to think things out before I try to take a stand.

Chorus:

But he prefers to think things out before he tries to take a stand.
But he prefers to think things out before he tries to take a stand.
But he prefers to think things out before he decides where to take a stand!
Not being pushy but a personable guy makes me feel nice.
Maybe I am a "character" in my attempt to break the ice.
I try to be most comfortable, friendly and objectual
The very finest model of a retired intellectual.

Chorus:

He tries to be most comfortable, friendly and objectual
The very finest model of a retired intellectual.
I support the mainstream rather than unique festivities.
I much prefer more stable and traditional activities.
I tend to bottle up the things that otherwise might bother me
So conflict is a side of me that other people seldom see.

I like clear lines of authority and responsibility.
I want people who try to help me to have the ability.
When someone wants to get me to do something I don't want to do,
He'd better have his facts and figures ready and be sure they're true.

Chorus:

He'd better have his facts and figures ready and be sure they're true.
He'd better have his facts and figures ready and be sure they're true.
He'd better have his facts and figures ready and be really sure they're true
I don't respond politically or to emotional shows
I won't believe something because most other people think it's so.
In short, I am much more objective than I am subjectual,
That's why I am the model of a retired intellectual!

Chorus:

In short, he is much more objective than he is subjectual,
That's why he is the model of a retired intellectual!
(Whew!)

John Lindorfer