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Recorded Male Voice: "Tuesday, 11:03 AM."What the hell?Recorded Female Voice: "Gulfport Emergency Notification System. Please press any numeric key to hear this important message.
Computer Female Voice: "Road closure, Gulfport, Mississippi. The east and westbound lane on Township Road between Markham Drive and Phillips Drive will be closed to through traffic in order to repair a sewer cavein. The road closure has been scheduled for February 21st, 2017, until February 23rd, 2017. Beach Boulevard and Teagarden Road will be used as a detour. For questions or further information, please contact the Public Works Department at 228-868-5740."
Recorded Female Voice: "Do you want to have the message repeated? Press one for yes, or two for no.
Computer Female Voice: "Road closure, Gulfport, Mississippi. The east and westbound lane on Township Road between Markham Drive and Phillips Drive will be closed to through traffic in order to repair a sewer cavein. The road closure has been scheduled for February 21st, 2017, until February 23rd, 2017. Beach Boulevard and Teagarden Road will be used as a detour. For questions or further information, please contact the Public Works Department at 228-868-5740."
Recorded Female Voice: "Do you want to have the message repeated? Press one for yes, or two for no.
Computer Female Voice: "Road closure, Gulfport, Mississippi. The east and westbound lane on Township Road between Markham Drive and Phillips Drive will be closed to through traffic in order to repair a sewer cavein. The road closure has been scheduled for February 21st, 2017, until February 23rd, 2017. Beach Boulevard and Teagarden Road will be used as a detour. For questions or further information, please contact the Public Works Department at 228-868-5740."
Recorded Female Voice: "Do you want to have the message repeated? Press one for yes, or two for no."
Computer: "Beep, Click."
I checked my phone's caller ID and found the telephone number (228) 868-5700. On a hunch, I checked the office of the Mayor of Gulfport, Mississippi, at http://www.gulfport-ms.gov/Mayor-Welcome.shtml. Sure enough, that's the Mayor's office, William Gardner "Billy" Hewes. Somebody has been using his telephone!
I wonder if he knows?
Like most people in south Mississippi, I know Billy Hewes by his sterling reputation. He's a really good guy! He's been Mayor of Gulfport since July, 2013. Before that, he was in the state senate for 20 years, four of them as president pro tempore. He's a well-respected real estate broker, insurance agent, businessman, outdoorsman, musician and community leader. I can't believe that he authorized this crap!
On the other hand, he is the Mayor of Gulfport. It is his telephone number. He's responsible! The buck stops on his desk!
This is not the first time (or the second, or the third) that the City of Gulfport has used its taxpayer funds to annoy its neighbors. The first time I became aware of it, a similar computer voice woke me up in the middle of the night to inform me that a truck had overturned on I-10, about ten miles from my house. The message didn't say what I was supposed to do about it, or how the accident was expected to affect me, only that it happened. Like I care!
The next day I visited the Gulfport city hall to tell them that I didn't even live in Gulfport, I wasn't interested in receiving "emergency notification" from Gulfport anyway, and that I thought that the City of Gulfport should mind it's own business instead of invading other people's privacy! I recall being yanked around until I was directed to a thin, unpleasant woman who haughtily informed me that my "do not call" registrations didn't mean diddly squat to her, that my telephone number was on her list of those to be called in an "emergency," and that it was damned well going to stay there.
Tempers flared! Voices rose!
Finally we attracted the attention of former Chancery Court judge Wes Teel, who happened to be passing by. He asked what the all trouble was about.
"This man," the woman began, pointing her finger in my direction like a loaded revolver, "wants me to take his telephone number off the emergency notification system list."
"Well," he inquired, "why don't you do that?"
"It's my job to put his number on the list," she responded, her voice rising several decibels and about an octave. "He wants me to take it off!"
"OK," Judge Teel replied coolly, "you did your job; you put his number on the list. Now take it off. He doesn't want to be notified."
We both left her with her mouth hanging open. The calls ceased, for a while.
The next time I was "notified" was when I was again awakened, twice in the middle of the night to be informed that the scheduled meeting of the City of Gulfport Planning Commission had been postponed. Either this is what the City of Gulfport considers an emergency, or the woman I spoke with was getting her revenge.
Once more I visited Gulfport city hall to reiterate my desire not to be awakened by nonsense! This time I received the attention of a large woman who didn't appear to know why she was there or exactly what she was supposed to be doing. She had me wait for awhile, then consulted with another, smaller woman who was passing through, and finally gave me a form to fill out stating who I was, where I lived, and why I was "visiting" city hall.
On my way out, I tripped and fell on a steel post that was sticking a couple of inches above the sidewalk. I'm sorry now that I didn't sue the City of Gulfport. Maybe then I would have gotten their attention. Live and learn, I guess.
This last time, at least, whoever the person is who is doing this at least had the decency to call during the daytime. Unfortunately, I noted on my caller ID that my doctor tried to call a little later, after the three repeats of this unwanted message from the City of Gulfport had used up the memory on my recorder, and just hung up. I wonder what my doctor's message was? Was it as important as the scheduled road closure? Does somebody else get to decide?
It wouldn't surprise me that I was chosen for the high honor of being annoyed by the City of Gulfport because this message was about Markham Drive, and I live on Markham Drive, just not in Gulfport. One of my neighbors mentioned that he got the same call. He doesn't live in Gulfport, either. There are Markham Drives in Clermont, Florida; Newcastle, Oklahoma; Augusta, Georgia; Slidell, Louisiana; Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania; Chapel Hill, North Carolina; Glen Mills, Pennsylvania; Temple, Texas; Mount Lebanon, Pennsylvania; Georgetown, Kentucky; Davenport, Florida; Perrysburg, New York; Orlando, Florida; Fayetteville, Tennessee; Bethlehem City, Pennsylvania; Manatee Oaks, Florida; Mobile, Alabama; Warwickshire, England; Victoria, Australia, and Ararimu, New Zealand, too. I wonder if they received these stupid calls.
In an effort to find out who authorized this silliness, I visited the offices of WLOX-TV, "The News for South Mississippi," and The Sun Herald, Gulfport's main newspaper. Nobody there could tell me anything. It doesn't appear that Gulfport residents (not to mention the rest of us), were warned about this baloney or given an opportunity to "opt out." It's really a shame that the Gulfport leadership and these two news outlets don't communicate better. I'm pretty sure that gunmen shooting up Gulfport High School or weaponized anthrax detected in Fishbone Alley would be reported by the professional news media much faster and more reliably than whoever has to type the notification into a text-to-synthesized speech converter and send it out one telephone call at a time without essential newscaster commentary and real time video.
The City of Gulfport really needs to reevaluate its priorities. This "emergency notification system" costs money for equipment, maintenance, electricity, and the salary, such as it is, of the individual whose job it is to select telephone subscribers to harass and annoy, rather than getting the message to those actually affected. The money could more profitably be spent elsewhere, such as better lighting for the corner of Pass Road and Ford Street, where two pedestrians were killed in just two months because the drivers who hit them didn't see them in time. It could also be used to put up pedestrian-controlled stop lights at Gulfport elementary school corners so the teachers don't have to chase down and restrain the kids who otherwise might run pell mell into the intersections (including busy Pass Road), heedless of oncoming drivers who think they have the right-of-way.
As far as road closures are concerned, the money could be spent for road signs at each end that proclaim, "THIS ROAD WILL BE CLOSED BEGINNING (DATE). USE (ALTERNATE ROUTE) AS A DETOUR," so the people who need to know, not somebody in another town, will be informed. No doubt the good citizens of Gulfport could find other worthwhile uses for their hard-earned tax dollars as well. Maybe cleaning up the trash in their streets?
Now, I don't personally know Kenneth L. Casey, Sr., Ricky Dombrowski, Ella Holmes-Hines, Rusty' Walker IV, Myles Sharp, Robert Flowers, or Cara L. Pucheu, the current members of the Gulfport City Council. I recall seeing some of them on WLOX-TV, and they all seemed like reasonable, responsible, educated people to me. I can't imagine that they all got together one day and decided to set up a telephone system that awakens and annoys people who don't even live in Gulfport with "emergency notifications" like overturned trucks, planning commission meeting rescheduling, or preplanned neighborhood road closures. They might have voted to set up a method of informing Gulfport residents of events that are true emergencies, like gunmen shooting up Gulfport High School or weaponized anthrax detected in Fishbone Alley, but this ain't nearly it! I think the system, if actually authorized by somebody responsible, is totally out of control.
Annoying telephone calls are a growing social problem. The City Council members, and Mayor Hughes, are good people. They and the good citizens of Gulfport don't deserve to be made to look like a bunch of fools for authorizing this nonsense. I believe that Mayor Hughes, and maybe the City Council, need to find out who is using the Mayor's telephone number to transmit this garbage, and put a stop to sending it to people who haven't specifically indicated in writing that they want to receive it. They might also consider educating that individual about what constitutes an emergency.
UPDATE: After three weeks of fruitless email correspondence with Jolene Johnson of the City of Gulfport about this matter, It was resolved by City Council member Ella Holmes-Hines, who obviously understands how to get things done, as opposed to finding excuses for not doing them. Good for her! As a result, I had release from these calls for three months...
Then, on 1:08 PM, May 26th, my answering machine recorded a call from "Gulfport City O" at (228) 868-5817. This time the caller didn't say anything, but just used up my recorder memory anyway. Because of the Memorial Day weekend, I waited to call that number back the following Tuesday. I was informed that the call was from Gulfport Public Works (the department whose system pulls the phone numbers by the address/location in other cities), and that they had no way of finding out who called or what the call was about. The woman to whom I spoke confirmed that they still had my telephone number on file!
What the hell is wrong with these people, anyway?