Discover New Zealand, Home of Middle Earth
Sunday, Day 14. Evolution in New Zealand has had to fill ecological niches from available resources. There are mammals that think they are fish (whales), birds that think they're fish (penguins), mammals that think they're birds (two species of bats, the only indigenous mammals), and birds that think they're mammals (kiwis!). In spite of the wonderfulness of our trip, I am frustrated by the fact that, whenever I have mentioned that I wanted to see real kiwis, I am met with the remark, "Yer lookin' at one, mate!" Today, the last one of our trip, I want to see some kiwis! So we hurry to the Willowbank Wildlife Reserve to see some real, live kiwis. I had tried to find it last night by myself, but I passed it because the reserve was not precisely where I was told it was, it was dark, and I couldn't navigate, read the map, and keep track of the street signs all at once. It was kind of like trying to walk and chew gum at the same time.
At this point, we were severely behind schedule, so we didn't have time to see the Wild and Heritage New Zealand sections, only the Natural New Zealand one. We saw black swans and blue ducks and some eels and trout, but we will have to get a book to read about them later because we just didn't have time to digest all the information at each one of the exhibits. The path winds back and forth through the section, so we got our exercise for the morning.
Stefanie and I agreed that this kune kune was the ugliest pig we had ever seen, but he had inner beauty and a nice personality, so Stefanie took a picture of him for her animal scrapbook. The keas look like giant parakeets, and were grateful when Stefanie fed them honey while I searched for the kiwi enclosure. The kiwis are kept in the dark because they are nocturnal animals and would be hiding from daytime visitors otherwise.
Finally we found them. Kiwis! They are larger than I thought they would be, even though these are not the largest species, and have a coat of hair-like feathers that provides excellent camouflage on the forest floor. Stroking the stuffed one in the lobby feels like petting a dog. I had a red flashlight (torch) to watch the kiwis without bothering them, but Stefanie didn't know we weren't supposed to use flash cameras, so she snapped away.
Finally we had to face the fact that our vacation was officially over, even though we considered just not going home. We drove our camper van to the United office in Christchurch, from which we were driven to the Christchurch airport. The weather got progressively darker, and shortly after we took off it began to rain, indicating to me at least that a Higher Power had decided that it was time for us to leave.
We flew over some spectacular scenery, some of which we probably drove thorough on our trip, but, because the Air New Zealand flight attendants didn't know about GPS receivers, they played it safe and didn't give me permission to turn on my Garmin. As a result, I didn't know where we were. Stefanie had used up her film at the Willowbank Reserve, so I used up the last of my disposable cameras taking aerial photos of Middle Earth from Gwaihir's viewpoint.

We arrived back in Auckland, the "City of Sails" where we had started our adventure. Somehow it looked very different from when we were there two weeks ago.
We had just enough time to get to the international terminal to board our Air New Zealand 747 for the flight back home. We had plenty of room to stretch out and enjoy the company of a group of (not noticeably) disabled New Zealand children who were going to Los Angeles to visit Disneyland. We considered joining them, but Stefanie said she had to get back to Knoxville to look for a wonderful new job.

Finally we said goodby to Middle Earth and settled back for our 12-hour flight past the Grey Havens to our home across the sundering sea. 

Flight from Christchurch NZ to Gulfport, MS 18 May 2003
Air New Zealand 7524H Boeing 737 1:35 PM Christchurch Intl Arpt 2:55 PM Sunday Auckland Intl Arpt Seats 14A & 14B
Air New Zealand TBD Boeing 747-400 4:15 PM Auckland Intl Arpt 9:15 AM Sunday Los Angeles Intl Seats 57B & 57C
Continental 197B Boeing 757 11:30 AM Los Angeles Intl 4:39 PM Sunday Bush Intercontinental Seats 17A & 17B - Lunch
Continental 133B Boeing 737 6:50 PM Bush Intercontinental 7:56 PM Sunday Gulfport Biloxi Seats 12A & 12B

We arrived in Los Angeles and had to hurry to the LAX domestic terminal for our Continental flight to Texas. We almost missed our connection because of a couple of surly TSA employees who appeared to hold us personally responsible for reputed enslavement of their ancestors. They informed us, rather testily, it seemed to me, that it wasn't their job to get our baggage onto the airplane on time (or at all). They were hired to check it for explosives and such, (as if we would put explosives on an airplane we were going to fly in), and would take their own sweet time about it. I then had to practically strip naked in the middle of the concourse for another TSA screener who was convinced that the 9-inch implant in my hip that beeped his metal detector was some kind of terrorist weapon. The TSA supervisor to whom I complained didn't seem to understand why I thought they should try to get the baggage screened in time to so it would be on the same airplane the owners were.

In Houston we had a similar encounter with a Continental representative who informed us, among other things that we didn't really want to know, that she hated dealing with the public and didn't wear a name tag because she didn't want anyone to be her friend by using her name. We realized then that were back in the United States, formerly the land of the free and the home of the brave, currently cowering at Condition Yellow.

We arrived on schedule in Gulfport, where my son David had been driving around the airport waiting for us to come out of the terminal. We got home without further incident, tired but happy to be back home (and finally away from the "Terrorist Simulation Agents").

I sat down in my chair and drew a deep breath. "Well," I said, "I'm back."

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